My Blog

November 19, 2007

Less than two weeks away. I cannot believe it. I am very excited and very nervous as well. I feel so stressed out. I am so confused. I have so many admirers. lol.

I think that jordan is amazing and I truly wish he didnt have a girlfriend. I really enjoy spending time with him and we have so much fun together. And what this this white boy do? He tells me he loves me. I dont believe that for anything. I want to believe but its difficult when he also sayys how much he loves his gf and he does or doesnt want to leave her and etc.etc. I can make up my mind what to do but just stay friends. i'm crazy about him but he doesnt seem too sure about what he wants. I know I don't love him because I can't be his number 2, i can't be anyone's number two.  I enjoy doing things with him including kissing him. lol.

I finally talked to this guy i work with at the Gap. He has stared at me for 3 months. And claims he has this HUGE crush on me, but has not said anything. I am shocked he has a voice, he has said nothing to me. I feel bad because we were doing more talking than working and i think i may have got him in trouble but at least i got him to smile. He has a nice smile and big teeth. i'd like to spend time with him before i leave but you know we'll see. Napoleon seems nice but you know im not really going to get to him and i'm not sure how old he is either.

I havent talked to Omar in a week or so and I've just been mad avoiding. I feel really uncomfortable because it's just hard for me.

I'm stressed because i want so much and have so little time. I'm afraid that things won't be the same when I get back.  NA that these relationships and friendships that have just blossomed within the past fe months or so won't last.)

I've been rethinking the Peace Corps but I refuse to give up on my dream because of uncertainty. If it's meant to happen it will happen. If these relationships are supposed to work we will make them work. I ca only do my part. I can't worry about what someone else is going to do and if they'll forget about me. If they do, thats their bad luck.

I'm an amazing person and if you don't take the time to notice than I can not offer you anything.

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