My Blog

So I am very excited and can not wait. I have no clue how long placements take and when I'll get an invitation. I feel like if the original program I discussed with my recruiter is still available I should recieve an invitation rather quickly. So I'm not completely sure what I should be doing.

Exciting news #2: I went on an interview today for a residential counselor position for mentally impaired adults. I really liked what I was hearing, it seems like something I'd really enjoy. I'm trying to line up this job if I end up waiting longer than expected with the Peace Corps. I'm just really nervous about something going wrong with placement or anything and I don't want to be working at the Gap much longer. I like working there, don't get me wrong but I'd rather be doing something that would helpadvance my career. At the Gap I feel like I'm standing still.

But anyway this interview was awesome, I looked so nice and did so well. Um I'm going to continue through the process, on Tuesday I get to meet the residents but I'm not sure if I'm going to accept the job offer if I get it. Because of the pay decrease. If I wasn't trying to get my pills paid asap it'd be cool. But I have loans. But the lady that is the manager is wonderful. She is really nice. She was really hyping me up because she was discussing how she would work with me through training while I did my last two weeks at the gap to make sure the checks overlapped so there wasn't a week where I wasn't paid. And how the orientation is in Saugeherties and how we'll go about getting me molded into this job. I really wish I was in a position to say definately. But this sounds like something I'd really like to pursue.

And my last option is to stay at the Gap until I hear from the Peace Corps, which is a good idea. Especially since I expect to hear back soon. I hope that I get an invitation and they'll tell me months in advance. Like they should make their decision now and if it's a position leaving before the end of the year, they should tell me next week or early september so I can prepare for that and know whether or not I should take this job offer IF I get it.

I'm really happy right now because here I am and either way i'm going to get to do something that I've always wanted to do and get to go away to the Peace Corps or I get to learn more about how I can further my career in Social Work. So I think I'm good.

The Gap!

Oh my God, I love working at the Gap so much. Its easy. There's overtime available, the pay is decent. (i'll be making $100 less if I take the other job) And I love the people. Everyone is really friendly and they work really well together. The one thing I don't like is this girl that I give rides home to. Last week she just really pissed me off. Cause I'm doing her a favor and every time I'd go pick her up she'd be late and have me waiting and then I'd have to speed drive to make sure that we got to work on time. And I don't wanna have to feel I need to rush to work like that. I shouldn't have to do that. And then Thursday she fuckin says she needs a ride but doesn't show, doesn't call nothing. So I'm out waiting for her and waiting till I finally said fuck it. And left her and then I see her when I walk into the door and she's like, 'oh hey I'm sorry. . .and excuse comes out.' I was pissed cause all of last week I felt so stressed because of her. I can't go out of my way to help someone out that is going to make me upset. And then when we left I didn't want to give her a ride home, I didn't even ask. And then she waited for me by the time clock and started walking with me and I was like oh you need a ride? So when i dropped her off I told her to call me when she needs a ride so that I'm not sitting there waiting ever again. And if I'm unavailable , I'm unavailable. oh well. But other than that I don't mind the Gap. There's this sexy ass dude that works there but I'm still not ready to date anyone. But there's nothing wrong with getting to know anybody. He asked for my number uh Thursday. . .and I was gonna write it down for him but I forgot cause I didn't have a pen. oh well. I don't really wanna pursue him cause he looks like the "player type." He asked me if I went out and if i was in a relationship. I'm the biggest loser cause I don't do either. lol. BUt he said he doesnt go out either so I wonder what he does. I don't think it's so wrong to get to know him as just friends since I'm not looking for anything right now.

I havent learned any Arabic but I'm still working on it. I can't get my lessons to play. lol. But I'm working on my french, I have a few french penpals. three but I think i'm down to two because the one girl got upset that I was using a translator to translate my emails into french. So now I'm strictly using what I know and my french dictionary. It's going ok, but it's hard via email because I need to remember the grammar rules and such.

Nothing else is really going on. I had a strange dream about Justin the other night that made me sad. I talked to Claudio, he says he wants to know when I'm going to see him but he never tells me when he wants me to come. Otherwise i wouldn have been seen him. I could have done that this weekend or last weekend but it doesnt seem like he really wants to see me. I think he's just lonely and wants someone to visit. I dunno. I'm sure he has planty of girls who want to come see him. I'm proud to say I still haven't talked to Jay, i think it's been well over a month. Even though I decided the other day I didn't mind being friends, I rethought about it again and figured since classes are gonna start soon it probably wouldn't be too convienent for him anyway. lol.

Hmmm other than that not too much is going on. Right now I'm very pleased with myself and the way things are going. Especially with the Peace Corps. I'm very excited that it is possible to get something that I want because this is something I want so bad and I am just so afraid that I wouldn never have it. Thats why Im scared to tell people because if it didnt happen, I'd have to tell them I failed. But right now I feel so close. I feel like i'm already there because I've made it through the most challenging part. Now I just have to sit back and wait. I'm just so happy that this dream could finally come true. Yes, I'm completely scared out of my mind about leaving for so long but I'm also so happy that I might have a chance to pursue this. I havent even told anyone. lol.

I've given it some thought and as soon as I figure out what it is I want from myself out of this life, is when I'll go back to dating. Until then, I'm done with guys.